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I was the shy child.
Or so I thought.
I was the child who would sneak away to her room when we had extended family visiting at Christmas.
I remember how I would pack up and dash into my room once I heard a visitor knocking at the door. Everyone said I was shy and so I accepted that as a fact. I got into college and I was told I was an introvert.
Hmm...ok. Shy. Introvert.
I just assumed they meant the same thing and went on with my introspective life
Thankfully, I took a personality test sometime later in life and I discovered being shy and being an introvert are two different things entirely.
Being shy means you are afraid of socializing while being an introvert means you are not interested in highly social environments.
According to the
experts, being an introvert has nothing to do with being shy. Introverts recharge by spending time alone. They lose energy from interacting with other people for long periods of time, particularly in stimulating, crowded environments.
Extroverts, conversely, lose energy from spending time alone. They recharge by interacting with other people in highly social environments.
So yeah, most times, I find networking events draining. However, networking and building great business relationships are very important in this century. You really can't choose to exist in a vacuum. That would be to your detriment both in life and business.
I understand building business relationships can be intimidating but you can do it. You just need to change your approach by doing the following;
Think quality not quantity
If you ask a lot of people what it means to network, they'll probably say networking refers to doing things like attending events and conferences, connecting with people on LinkedIn etc.
That's not really networking. Networking is interacting with another person. You can do this at an event or on Linkedin but you actually need to interact directly.
The value of networking comes from the opportunity it presents to find out what matters to another person so you (and they) can decide if it makes sense to spend time together.
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It offers the opportunity to know if that person can really add value to you in any way.
Once you decide it is mutually beneficial to build a business relationship with that person, make that person a part of your network.
There's no point stalking a popular CEO/business person if they really have nothing to offer you specifically. It will be a waste of both your time and that person's.
Think win win
Once you decide you want to build a business relationship with someone, please don't be a leech.
A leech just focuses on sucking out everything it can. It sucks up so much blood till it becomes full then falls off it's prey. It never thinks of giving back. That kind of relationship cannot work.
I had the opportunity to meet a CEO of interest recently. We got talking and before the conversation was over, I had a good feeling I needed this person in my network.
I was reading some articles sometime later, and I thought it might be of interest to him so I forwarded the articles to him right away via email.
He replied my email with a note of appreciation and we continued the conversation via email. Now when he sees an article, he also sends it to me.
Technically, we have a business relationship. I sensed he liked to read about certain things I also found interesting and that's why I sent the articles to him. This is just a basic example of how you can add value.
Another time, a person of interest to me mentioned in passing that she wanted a certain book. I happened to see the book at a book store so I purchased it and had it delivered to her office.
She sent me a personal message thanking me. Trust me when I say, If I need her help, she'll be happy to help.
You can add value by volunteering for a project or anything. Just always think win/win. Seek ways to add value.
Don't just focus on what you need from a certain relationship, think about how you can add value with your skills, your time or resources.
and that's how you build solid business relationships with anyone. (even with your peers)